Exploring the Koshas

I've heard the term Annamaya Kosha many times. It's yogi-speak for physical body.   What I somehow missed was the literal interpretation of the term, which is "food sheath".  I love that.  I'm on day 9 of a strict elimination diet.  All I can think about is food.  I eat every few hours.  Sometimes more.  When I'm not eating, I'm thinking about eating.  I crave food.  I always have but this diet process has upped the intensity exponentially.  Yup, this body is a food sheath.

And suddenly the theory of Koshas or the 5 energy bodies became a little more clear to me.  It's been 7 years since my initial yoga teacher training.  It's time.  But I discounted the idea of Koshas because they weren't scientific. To my knowledge there's no hard data to prove or disprove their existence.  They were "airy-fairy" concepts.

Still there is no question - for me - that food interacts with my "Pranamaya kosha" or energy body.  When I eat foods that I am sensitive to, I feel like energy is being sucked out my finger tips with a huge vacuum.  Some foods give me "elephants on my chest."  My breath is shallow, laboured. 

My "food sheath" is also intertwined with my emotional body - Manamaya - kosha.  There is constant play between wanting, will-power, joy  (fitting in to sizes I haven't known since high school is a bonus side-effect of the process), frustration, and hunger (yes, in my world hunger is an emotion).    Much of my hunger is very much emotional.  I know that.  I want foods that have for years made me feel ill.  I crave the heaviness - almost an opiate effect - that I used to get from eating "trigger foods."  Even while I'm eating copious helpings of fresh fruits and vegetables, I fight off notions of depravation. 

In good moments, (when I'm not experiencing brain fog from my latest binge) I can access my "wisdom body" Vijnannamaya Kosha.  The part of me that can discern emotional from physical hunger knows that I am more than "just a food sack sheath" and that this perceived "suffering" is temporary - as is all suffering.  

I am learning, albeit slowly, that Anandamaya Kosha  - or the bliss body - where we deeply experience peace, joy and love -  can't be found in the bottom of a bag of chips or even an excellent croissant... though I've looked for it in both places.