Counting Down to the finish line? Day 28 of Whole Food Diet

It's day 28 of my Whole 30 Diet and I'm facing the final days with mixed feelings.  I've had successes.  My skin is more clear, my brain less foggy, my joints less stiff.  I look more toned - though I've actually moved and exercised much less.  I've told you about other benefits in previous posts.

There are days though when I want to respond to, "How's the diet going?" with, "other than feeling like I have razor blades shoved up my rectum, I'm great."  But that would be rude.

Oh, it's better than it was when I first started experimenting with eliminating foods from my diet a year ago.  No longer does the pain run high into my large intestine (what I later came to understand as muscle spasms in my sphincter and inflamed diverticulum) but it is amazing how a small anal fissure can be so excruciating.  Yes, I just said anal fissure in a public space.  Get over it. 

 No, I'm not constipated and never have been. No the fissures were not caused by the diet.  They drove me to it.   And they went away completely within a few days of being on the diet.  Then returned with a vengeance. 

My first experience with the searing pain happened almost 2 years ago.  I saw a doctor.  I had a colonoscopy.  I was cleared of "anything serious."  Medication helped.  Until it didn't. 

I had blood tests - ordered by a naturopath - that suggested I need to stay away from 60+ foods - at least temporarily. 

And for a short period of time, not one of those things passed my lips.  I felt physically good - but hungry. And alone with my weird intestinal challenges.  I had a pity party, (how can I live/eat/socialize/travel/ be normal when I can't eat bread and cheese?).

 I did a Google search.  I confirmed that IgG food sensitivity testing really isn't scientifically sound.  

That's all the reason I needed to load up on all things delicious and highlighted in blue. And I was fine (stupid alternative medicine).  Until I wasn't.  

Going on The Whole 30 diet was meant to give my system a break from irritants.  With the Whole 30 I didn't need to be alone in my strict eating.  Thousands of others do this.  I was joining friends.  Shared suffering is always better.  Isn't it?

 I thought, maybe if I eliminate dairy, sugar, legumes, booze, additives & grains my system would be healthy enough to manage whatever other triggers I may have.  

A nice frittata for breakfast, a handful of nuts for a snack may be fine for others, but not me. 

 A carefully crafted dinner to entertain friends, that doesn't appear too ascetic but is in keeping with The Whole 30 and I spend the immediate hours following, clutching the porcelain goddess and feeling like I'm shitting razors. 

I check back on "my list" and see I've eaten something forbidden: a dash of curry, a few glasses of soda and mango juice (as if it that could take the place of wine), and some chocolate mousse with raspberries - hold the mousse.

So, when I'm asked when I'm going to be off this "silly diet" so I can have some pizza or lasagna, my answer isn't,  "In 3 days."  It's, "Maybe never.  I'm not sure yet.  Maybe 30 days isn't enough." 

But go back and look at my list, nowhere does it mention that I shouldn't have wine.  My glass is ready.