Whole 30 Day 5

According to The Whole 30  I'm in the Kill All Things stage of the program.  But I'm not feeling it.

I'm not overly energetic, but I feel good.  I noticed a difference in my yoga practice this morning.  At the beginning of the week I could barely find my toes.

I hurt.  Everywhere.

We don't need to talk about the IBS

Today, I can not only find my toes, I can bow down to them.

4 days with no grains, dairy, sugar, legumes or additives of any sort and I notice a big physical difference.  Inside and out.

I feel pretty good about this.  

I don't feel pretty good about being hungry.  Really hungry.  

Like I may just have to keep on holding myself in this position to keep from eating, sort of hungry.  

Like I deserve at least 6 meals today, sort of hungry.  

But I don't have any meals planned.  And that's a problem.  

 Having a plan, having a few things in the freezer even, made the first few days a breeze.

I've been eating well.  Very well.  Hunger hasn't been an issue.

Until today.

For lunch I'd have Carrot soup

(I KNOW this is better with butter, but for 30 days, butter can be sacrificed for some other oil.  I'm sorry butter.  I promise to get back to you soon.
The white swirl on top is coconut cream.  Yum. )









And (left over) roast chicken on a bed of greens drizzled with Red Pepper Sauce (you'll have to buy the book for this one, I can't find it online).

 I tried those Sausage Bangers with Sweet potato and caramelized onions I told you about.  They were OK.  Not great, but OK.  If I make it again, I'll be more patient caramelizing the onions and maybe bbq the sausage patties rather than doing them in the oven.

 I've enjoyed  Spinach and Beef Curry for breakfast and lunch (not on the same day).  It needed some more vegetables so today I added some zucchini.




I made it through a Friday night without pizza.  Or wine.  Or popcorn.

This is a small miracle.


And I hold on to that miracle as I stare forlornly in my fridge now at wilted carrots and some chicken broth.

Somehow tonight's dinner needs to be more enticing than Hallowe'en treats.  And when I say "tonight's dinner", that might just be plural.

Day 3 of The Whole 30

Day 3 of  The Whole 30 Program.  Rather than feeling hung over like the book suggests I might, I feel good.  Not perfect.  But good. 

I don't feel hungry.  This is amazing for me.  I'm always hungry. Even after a big meal.  Sometimes especially after a big meal. 

The only thing that I'm finding hard so far is not getting on the scales.  Seriously.  

Weighing myself has been a daily habit all of my life.  Perhaps obsessively so.  It may not have stopped me from eating, but it has certainly been a factor in how I judge myself.  Watching the numbers of the scales drop the last time I tried an elimination diet was what kept me going.  I weighed less, therefore I was succeeding.  I gained, I was wasting my time.  The Whole 30 doesn't allow for any external measures.  I weighed myself before I started, I will again on day 31 (maybe) but between now and then, no scales, no tape measure.  I just am.  

Rather than focusing on what I can't eat, I'm focusing on filling my plate with good things. And it's been fun.  I've given myself permission to spend more money on better food.  How?  Why? 

First, I cajoled, forced, begged, encouraged my husband to try the 30 days with me.

It is so much easier to do things for other people than for myself. 

I don't particularly like cooking.  Baking yes.  Cooking no. And I'm cheap about food.  I shop and cook based on what's on special that week.  

I often stare forlornly into my fridge or cupboard hoping to be inspired but see only shrivelled carrots, some canned or dried beans, and a bag of rice.

 You'd be amazed what I can turn that into for the family but when I'm cooking just for me?   Corn chips and bright orange cheese?  (Who put that there?!)  Sounds like a decent meal.  Mr Noodle?  If I toss in some frozen mixed vegetables I'm sure its a decent meal.  Sometimes the only thing that calls my name is McDonalds (yes it's true but don't tell anyone).

On the 30  Day Whole Food Plan, left to my own devices I might have nothing more than tuna on plain greens.  The thought is depressing.  

 But for someone else? I find myself standing in the cute little local, organic, farm-fresh, grass-fed, antibiotic-free store I'd never noticed before.  When I see the prices, I almost walk out.  Then I compare what it would cost me to have a Big Mac Meal  versus organic greens drizzled in Balsamic vinaigrette and olive oil and a pork chop with roasted red pepper sauce and I come out on top. 

As I do when I compare that McDonald's meal to the roast chicken, fresh yellow beans, organic greens, and garlic mashed potatoes (yes potatoes are on the diet!) with coconut milk.  It's not a cheap bird but it's delicious and best of all, I have enough left overs for several lunches. 

Maybe the novelty of eating/cooking/shopping like this will wear off.   But my husband is hoping it doesn't before I try the recipe for banger sausage patties with sweet potato mash andcaramelized onions. 

Committing to The Whole 30 Food Cleanse

It's that easy.  A friend on Facebook asks if I want to begin a 30 day program that  involves eating only fruit, vegetables and meat, I know I need this,  so I'm in.

If only that were true. 

In my head I commit.  I read the (entire) Whole 30 website.  It's good. I buy the book.  I read the book (with several glasses of wine and some chips). It's funny, informative and engaging.  I really want to do this.  Soon.

Perhaps I should read It Starts With Food, the first book written by the authors of The Whole 30, first for a little sciencey background.  I buy it on Kobo.  I feel like it could have been written just for me. 

My cupboards need to be cleaned out. I need to shop for compliant foods.  I need to figure out a meal plan.  Possibly not in that order.   I need to see if my husband and daughter have an interest in joining me and if not, I need to figure out what I am and am not willing to do for them. 

My brain is spinning.  I have a bit of cheese and some crackers while preparing some pasta for dinner.  It goes nicely with the left over apple crisp. 

I've invited company for dinner on Saturday night.  The evening requires wine. (Really?  30 days without wine?  That must be a mistake.) I can't start before that.  I buy enough wine for a dinner party of 30.  There will be 6 of us. 

 

It doesn't really make sense to start a sugar-free diet before Halloween.  I purchase enough Halloween treats  -a variety of chips and chocolate to satisfy the cravings of a small town - knowing  full well that we haven't had more than 20 Trick or Treaters since we moved in.   I may as well have some. 

And I'm reminded why I wanted to do this in the first place: My belly is swollen.  It hurts.  My insides are screaming at me.  My joints hurt.  My muscles are starting to hurt in a weird way - not like I've been using them but achy.  I feel like I have a small elephant resting on my chest.  My brain is foggy.  Not just a little. 

I'm not waiting another day.  Not another meal.  I'm in.  For dinner.  Today. 

Prelude to a Food Cleanse

I'm in yoga class and I can barely find my toes.  This is embarrassing because I'm the teacher.  

My body hurts.  My hips are tight and stiff. And not just my hips.  I'm starting to feel all of my joints complaining like they haven't in years.  Since before yoga.   I'm puffy.  My face and chest are broken out in "adolescent acne".  I'm 51.

Today's playlist includes James Brown's "I feel Good." It mocks me.  The IBS I had under control has returned with a vengeance.  I feel anything but good. 

All I want to do after class is wallow in a giant bag of chips and some wine.  One of my students approaches me, "What's going on with you?" 

I'm off my diet. 

Can I prove that all of these symptoms are food related?  Perhaps not but when I was 100% compliant a year ago to a diet based on eliminating 68 foods (yup!) that bloods tests revealed I was sensitive to - I felt infinitely better.  There were no "elephants sitting on my chest" post lunch, or the need for a nap.  I felt lighter, like my body simply worked better.  I was lighter. 

So why did I go off of it?  I think the only satisfying answer to that is - I'm human.  I cleaned out my system, started re-introducing foods, felt fine, continued having them.  And having them.  And the slope  was gradual.  Between bites of fresh baguette I would tell myself stories.  "It's not really the food.  Those blood tests mean nothing. Have some cheese.  Eliminating all that food can't be good for you.  You're getting too thin. It doesn't make sense that what you eat would affect your breathing.  Or your sleep.  No one likes a thin middle-aged woman.  Hot flashes are normal.  Just have a little." 

 But I never have "just a little."  I love baking.  I like eating said baking.  I love filling the house with the warm scent of pie-crusts, cheese buns and chocolate chip cookies. 

And the more of those things I eat, the worse I feel, the more inclined I am to eat them.  It slides from that to chips and candy.  Until my intestines start screaming at me to stop.  Oh diverticulum I am sorry. 

Just when I'm hitting bottom, knowing it's time to go back to checking the extensive and complicated list of things I should and should eat, but  not having the will power to start , a friend posts on Facebook, "I'm doing The Whole 30 again,"  -  30 days with no dairy, grains, legumes, sugar of any sort (except what's found in whole fruits), additives or alcohol.  No wine. No exceptions.  No Cheating.   "Who's in?"

 

I am.